Presaging Death – or Cheating It

A few days ago, I was finishing a transcription for a client’s book project, which was not under any particular deadline except for the danger that the elderly subject would soon expire.  I had heard that the client’s mother – our subject – who was 93, wasn’t doing well. I realized I ought to hurry…and then, it happened. She passed away Tuesday night, and it wasn’t really a surprise – more of a disappointment that I had failed to give the client her mother’s stories for their enjoyment together.

I guess you could call this an occupational hazard, though I will say it doesn’t happen to us @ Seventh Generation Stories as often as you might think.  That’s why this particular incident gives me pause.  I told my client that her mother’s recollections would now have a new purpose as part of the memorial services, providing a tangible sample of the deceased’s legacy. She agreed, and I realize that although it would have been nice to show the elder mother a nice book that her words became, perhaps those words would now mean so much more when packaged as a memorial tribute piece.

How lucky I felt to be able to provide this to the family. Still, this is a cautionary tale for all of you who have someone special in your life whose stories might soon expire with them. Again I put out a call to action for those who will be with their families at the holidays – whip out your video camera,  your digital recorder – even a notepad, if you can write in shorthand and read it.  Sit down with those elders, because you  never know when someone’s last Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, etc. might be. This may sound macabre to you, and if you’re only reading this because you thought you’d learn how to cheat death, you have – perhaps not your own, but those of loved ones’. Why? This year, you have the chance to celebrate their lives with them, in person, and take those memories down. Whether you package and gift these memories in life, or read them a funeral, becomes immaterial. Don’t wait.

This Old House – Or, Remembering Fall With Mom

Barbara (Mom) and Me, fall 1974

Herb Jr., Great Aunt Loretta "Boo" Hunter and Toddler Barbara

Me and LJ, City Island, Summer 2010

It is said that there is a season for all things – and though I never cared for the “Turn, Turn, Turn” song, I will attribute the lyrics as having come directly from the book of Ecclesiastes. I decided to look this up and remind myself of their origins, because those lyrics taken as simple verse are so very moving. I thought of them tonight as I arrived to my country home on a clear, cold and starry night because of my mother Barbara, who I used to come here with.  Also because I plan to plant spring bulbs with my young daughter tomorrow, and there’s a verse about a time to plant. 

The third anniversary of Mom’s passing is coming up quickly this fall season. Being in this old house, I think of her, for she is everywhere.  A large reproduction of a photo of her in black and white from when she was in her early 20s hangs above my breakfast table. She smiles down broadly in her straw hat on the beach, looking more carefree than I ever knew her in life. She also reminds me as I start a new day in the quiet country air that even if things haven’t been going great, the new day could be.  We danced here, laughed, cried as my grandmother Jane, to whom the house originally belonged, died in her bed in the Shinnecock home that she loved. 

 

Perhaps this is your like own ongoing recollections of loved ones who are gone; you remember exact words, experiences…even, as I do, the weather, and how Mom and I used to arrive here under the cover of darkness on similarly chilly fall nights. But, it’s been awhile. She was sick for a time, and while that was happening, I didn’t come to our house*. I didn’t want to leave her side, and also, it was painful to be here without her.

Though I’ve made over the home since her death in ways I hope she would have approved of – gutting bathrooms and purging drywall and an entire attic and basement full of outdated and moldy c*ap from 1973, filling two 30-yard dumpsters that were as heavy as my grief - I have kept certain touches that were hers (vintage blue glass bottles, old family photos in my “ancestors” corner, the wood stove my grandma bought in 1985) and it still feels like she’s here sometimes. And maybe she is.  If so, I hope that as I work with my toddler daughter LJ tomorrow morning, planting first-spring crocuses and later-spring daffodils, putting our hands in the dirt, Mom will be reminded how she and I used to do this sometimes in the fall.  Certainly, I’ll remember.

 

Oh, and if you’re feeling the least bit teary or perhaps just nostalgic for old times you had with your mom or dad – and whether you still have them around or not – go with the feeling, get a pen – or a keyboard – and start writing those memories down. You won’t regret it.  I never do.

“

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

”

*You’ll notice perhaps that I did not post any pictures of the house. I’ll leave it to your imagination.

SGS founder Alli Joseph is one of the new faces of Citibank’s Women & Co.!

One thing I spent summer doing that kept me off this blog – mostly figuratively, since it was only a day shoot – was being asked to become one of the new faces of Women & Co., Citibank’s financial empowerment brand for women! They use real people in their campaigns, as you may have seen on bus stops and billboards as of earlier in 2010.  Apparently they needed a new crop of ladies, and I was one of them. Coming soon to the Women & Co. website (so they say), videos they shot of me and my compatriots talking about what’s important to us and in my case, the creation of Seventh Generation Stories, should be up soon. Check back! Below, the outtakes from our shoot at a palatial New York City loft with proper kraft service.  Hope that hearing my stories will inspire women especially to be financially independent and as traditional keepers of family stories, to get started on interviewing their elders this holiday season! God speed, women!

Back from Summer Training Hiatus, and Now It’s Cold…

More soon, friends, but wanted to advise that I’ve not forgotten you. I’ve been doing some entrepreneurial advocacy work for the @FordFoundation, helping journalists of color take their stories – and ideas – and become entrepreneurs, like I did. Worthy project, just wrapping up for the season, and am still working with Seventh Generation Stories clients. Projects often take a long time to complete, so between beginning new ones and finishing older ones, I take on a few lecture gigs – some paid, others not – to try to spread the word about the import of saving family stories for EVERYONE!

Alli Joseph lectures at the Poynter Institute's Sense-Making Fellowship

The temperature is headed south in my neck of the woods (and I wish I were headed south  myself), which means…holiday time. Have you thought about grabbing your elders (well, not GRABBING…be gentle) while you’re home for the holidays eating turkey, lighting the menorah, decorating the tree, etc., sitting them down, and making sure you get a life story interview out of them? There’s no time like the present to save the past, and don’t let the opportunity to actually talk with your elders in person, and record the worthy things they say, pass you by again this year. Need help? Drop a comment below with your contacts or tweet me: @AlliJoseph.  Soon, tips on recording stories at the holidays.

“Who do you think you are?” And, have you planned your Mother’s Day gift yet??

Too much time has passed since we communicated all the exciting things that are going on at Seventh Generation Stories. Last we wrote, Christmas was but days away and Daily Candy had included us in their last-minute holiday gift guide. Since then, we’ve been featured in Head Butler, Indian Country Today, among other media outlets.  We’re hard at work turning out interesting projects and creating new workshops for museums, historical societies, estates and trusts firms, memoir-focused groups, senior audiences, and more – spreading the gospel of personal history across the country.

Speaking of which, we couldn’t help but marvel at how ahead of our time we seem to be in helping people save (and know) their family histories – the spate of family history TV shows just keeps coming, starting with ABC’s Find My Family earlier this year, and more recently, with PBS’ Faces of America and now NBC’s Who Do You Think You Are? If you’re famous, you can have the likes of Louis Gates, Jr. sitting across the table from you, talking family stories. We don’t think there’s any beer involved (unless you’re the President, knocking back a Miller Light), but still, it could be interesting. The way Gates delivered Faces, it probably WOULD have been more interesting with a beer – we were asleep within minutes; there’s no accounting for jazzier production values – but good on public television for tackling the subject we love so much and dropping some coin on an extensive New York subway ad campaign to promote it. That’s love (or trying to recoup one’s bottom line).

Celebrity genealogy has never been hotter, but we prefer to focus on real, everyday people like you (pardon us if you’re reading this and you’re a celebrity: yes, you matter, but you and your family already have plenty of [unwanted?] attention).

Up next? Mother’s day is upon us, and we are already thinking of what to get our moms, step moms, and God moms.  A tribute to mom done in book or video fashion – or something less typical – makes a wonderful, thoughtful and unique gift.  Just sayin’.

Who Do You Think You Are? Show Is On

Saving Stories is Tasty: We’re Featured in Daily Candy

If you’re looking for a last-minute holiday gift, or even something to make yourself feel good in the New Year, it’s not too late to commission a project from us — large or small. From helping clients organize their photos and other media in person (aka “hand-holding”, which there’s NO shame in) to end-to-end producing a family history book, video or other project, we’re here to help. There’s a sort of catharsis that happens when a person finally decides to get organized, interview elder relatives about their lives, and puts a project together.  While the Candy was a bit vague about our services (they are space-limited, but we’re grateful for the ink nonetheless), they did give folks a last-minute gift idea for those who dragged their feet or were simply too busy to get the shopping done early. I.O.U.s are perfectly great gifts, and then you can really put some thought into the present. And this, well, this makes for a happy holiday for everyone.

http://www.dailycandy.com/new-york/gallery/78768/18-Last-Minute-Gift-Ideas?n=5#gallery

San Francisco, There We Went! SGS Is All Over The Continent.

We’ve been getting a lot press lately, thanks to the tireless efforts of founder Alli Joseph, who pretty much plugs Seventh Generation Stories in every conversation she has. Oh, and she also is thankful for a 15-year gathered list of media contacts all over the globe, many of whom have been kind enough to spread the word about how important getting one’s family stories is for one and all.

Last Friday, we were featured on ABC7, KGO-TV, in San Francisco (more on that trip and Alli’s thoughts on same later), as we worked with the Curci family to put together their family history as a cookbook of mama Mena’s delicious Italian recipes from her roots in the Old Country.

The shooting of this segment was both fun and tasty: after the meal was prepped for the cameras, the Curci family invited SGS and ABC7′s producers to enjoy a wonderful — but food-coma-inducing — lunch of pasta pescatore and eggplant rolatini. Mmm.

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/7_on_your_side&id=7178674

Seventh Generation Stories Founder Alli Joseph on Launch Notes Radio Program!

On Wednesday, November 4, I had the opportunity to talk about growing my business as a Native American entrepreneur and businesswoman with an interest in diversity and giving back. Host Khrys Vaughan spoke with me at great length about issues facing Native America today, why I do what I do, and how I try to help people save their stories — whether they hire me directly or not!  Click on the link below to hear the interview and more about how I’m affecting change by telling stories.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/LaunchNotes/2009/11/04/Celebrating-Native-American-Women–Alli-Joseph

About Seventh Generation Stories’ Brand

Seventh Generation Stories’ logo was carefully crafted by ace branding agency 321 Takeoff  (www.321worldwide.com) over several months’ time. 321′s philosophy was to take the look and feel I wanted for my company and bring in the ethnic, cultural and historic elements important to my brand. You can see the case study, here:

http://www.321worldwide.com/ourwork/seventhgen

NPR Station WAMU FM Features Alli Joseph on Metro Connection Show

On October 9, host David Furst interviewed me on Metro Connection, a fine local radio program in Washington, D.C. on the award-winning WAMU FM American University public radio. David and I had a lot of fun talking about the process of saving stories, why you should NEVER keep your old photos and other memorabilia in the attic or basement, and when to drink heavily at family gatherings to get the storytelling vibe going.

You can hear the interview in the Metro Connection Archive, here:

http://wamu.org/programs/mc/09/10/09.php#29344 – scroll down the page to the story blurb called “Personal Historian Services” and select a media player on the right.